i've been wanting to post an entry for a darn LOOOOONNNGGG time..but haven gotten a chance to..all thanks to the busy schedule in my life..hahaha..yes..i am always asking for trouble when i dun have one..now i'm so STRESSED!!!!but i work better when i'm under pressure...it helps me get things done properly and the way it shld be done..

anyways, for the time being i've been busy at work..preparing lessons for two little adorable kids who definitely make my days a brighter one..coz when sch ends and as i make my way home from work...its the beginning of fatigue and exhaustion and stress...been abandoning my studies this week..only touched like one lect notes of geog this week..which is bad..basically coz two absolutely brand new kids have entered the school and they have been assigned to YOURS TRULY..its been two weeks of running ard and staying back in sch to do loads of planning and preparing lesson schedule for them..it may seem like a 5 hr job but........it definitely demands alot!!!!!!!!!!!!! but thankfully the one week hols is ard the corner..so its a break for me..and its back to studying from then on...the A's are just in 2 mth time..no more slacking..

before that..let me present to you my darlings who always drive my mornings crazy with all their singing and boyish behaviour..hahaha...BUT....they are such ADORABLE beings and I LOVE THEM!!!!!!!!i really do...they are the reason i drag my butt off to work in the wee hrs of the morning even though i'm so tired everyday...

so here they are...

today..when i first stepped into sch..i got the long awaited news tt i have been waiting for..
( you know sometimes when u want sth so badly, it doesn't ever come to you...but when suddenly u are happy enjoying life not having what u have always wanted...that sth has to come at the unappropriate moment...)

and yes...that is the time...

My new kid is coming in on MONDAY!!!!!!!!!!!

when i was told abt it..my mind suddenly got into a WHIRL...tons n tons of qns suddenly came rushing in..am i ready to take this child?what am i suppose to prepare?what if i'm lost?what if the child don't favour me?what is he cries n cries?what.....and more 'what ifs' accompanied one another....

maybe i'm just thinking too much...
thankfully, i've got a grp of colleauges who are willing to be by my side to help me...
but i cant always depend on them..
sooner or later i gotta stand on my own two feet...
hehehe....kinda excited abt it too though..hahaha..
hopefully things will turn out fine....

anyway, the boy has gone outfield today..which means he's stuck in some jungle in singapore..and according to him..he's gotta dig a hole deep enough for him to sleep in...GOSH!!!poor u darlings..and i can bet that when he return he's goin to be sooooo sick...someone has got very low immune system..hehehe....but hopefully all will be fine when he's out there...

miss ya darlings...
MUACKZ!!!

See if i can squeeze an entry..

my net is currently down.. so its very diff to blog.. much less entertain myself at home.. but make do wif it..

the off was very welcoming.. get to slack and play soccer.. haha.. fun fun fun..
but i was mainly tired and i dunno why.. i tend to fall asleep easily.. haha...

first time i played soccer wif my platoon mates which many people pangsed.. but we won 5-4.. after the intro of sgt naz.. we were losing 2-0.. and my bro played too.. yeah..

oh nvm.. i dunnoe y i saying this for fun..

anyway dear.. take care of yourself..
sorry if i cant spend much time on u or didnt give u much attention.. but i will always love u k?

MUACKZ..

ITS NATIONAL DAY!!!!!!!!!



The boy is back from camp..and lucky him..he got the rest of the week off too..thankfully he's not in TEKONG anymore..if not it will only be a day's off..*BLUEK*

it was another day spend doing my shopping..hehe..coz someone got his pay already..got surplus somemore..so must share oki???get to buy new shoes..new clothes..but i shall wait for my next pay which is in 2 weeks time before i get myself a new phone..or shld i buy a digi cam for myself??hhhmmm.....

unfortunately, we were both worn out after walking ard tamp and so decided not to catch the fireworks display near the stadium..but haha..watched it on TV lar..tt's the easiest form of medium available..n all the local channels were airing the parade live..in different language too..hahaha..

anyway, we took a stroll dwn PASIR RIS beach..just to get some fresh air and have some quiet time together..been a while since we had the time to have deep talks..it is either he's too tired or i'm too busy..but there's always time for us to be together..hehehe..n i must say i really cherish those seconds n minutes n hours tt we have together..i guess NS really demands alot of him..tt he's always tired everytime he's out..
but no matter what..i will always be here for u k dear??even when times aren't really good..and when u're dwn..i will still LOVE U LOADS!!!

-catch the ladies in red and white-

-..the girls of STEP..-

there are more pictures to come..MALA still owes us pics..hahaha..but i wanna thank dear AYE MON for being so kind as to send the pics to us..it was a nice day spend together especially since not all of the contract teachers are in the same session..so it is only days like this when there is a half day celebration tt we are able to get together again(all of us) to spend some time together..hehehe..

am i just too weak and scared..
tt i cant seem to be able to be angry with you for long..
sometimes i want to let u know how i really feel deep inside..
but i'm always silenced by what you have to say in reply..
am i always in the wrong...
or am i just unable to stand up for what i think is right...
or is it because i'm just afraid of hurting you...
or am i just too weak and scared...

i am human too...
i have feelings that i want to be let known...
and i want it to be known to you...
but i cant seem to put it across to u all the time..
coz somehow u always have a way to get by me..
and i cant deny tt what u have got to say is right..
but y cant u just listen to what i gotta say...
and feel the same way tt i feel..
y do i feel small everytime u get angry...
y do i feel helpless when i cant seem to let u know what i really want u to..
am i just not able to...
or am i just weak and scared...

maybe i am weak at heart....
tt when u start to lose ur mood i just keep quiet...
tt when i'm sad i cant seem to let u feel my sadness..
tt when i cry u cant seem to let u hear me weep..
tt when i'm in solitude i cant seem to let u feel alone..
and sometimes when i'm just angry, i cant seem to vent it out on u...
is tt why i'm breaking inside...
is tt why i feel so small in this world...
or is it just because i'm weak and scared...

i know tt i cant always get what i want..
tt's why i learn not to expect...
i know tt i cant always listen to my own wishes..
tt's why i learn to give in...
and i know tt i cant bear to lose you again..
tt's why i learn to love u with all my heart just like as if tml will nv come..
and i hope tt u do too...

sometimes when you lost a love one in life..it feels like you have lost everything..
tt someone have returned to the arms of god..or even just vanished from ur life..or perhaps he's just not there to be with you anymore..

and sometimes...you can move on with life..sometimes its almost impossible to do so..

in a few days time, its going to be 1 year since my dear grandfather passed away..
strangely,yesterday..i had trouble sleeping..
i could feel his presence ard me..
i dunno if it scared me..or it made me sad...
but i definitely missed him...

when he's still there, he always told us tt he's ready to go as he feels tt he has already accomplished life's demands..
and thankfully, he didnt had go through an aweful death..god took him away just like tt..unexpectedly...i can still remember the very day when i receive tt call from my aunt..
i dunno y..but somehow tt morning..i choose not to go to sch..i had this feeling tt i needed to stay home..like as if sth was awaiting for me..yet...did i least expect to hear the news first..especially when u are all alone at home..with no one to turn to the moment u got to know abt it..

its just all a memory now..and i everytime he comes to my mind..i cant help by shed a tear..remembering the coldness of his skin..the moment my lips touched his innocent face..
i pray tt may ALLAH always be with him..n may HE forgive him..