i am so physically and mentally drained... luckily.. its a long weekend for me...
UNFORTUNATELY.... there is more to come.. i gonna be confined for the longest period next week and it will be a trying period cuz of out field training.. nvm.. forget bout it...

how am i goin to make gd use of this long weekend? i really have no idea leh.. but i guess.. more importantly to spend time wif my loved ones.. esp my dearie and my granddad..

its so frustrating to be kept in the dark.. really ah.. like u dunnoe wad is happening at home.. and u keep on thinking of the people u miss... wondering how your future gonna be.. but.. gotta learn how to cope.. accept life as it is.. things may turn out the way we dun wan it to be.. juz know dat the path laid upon us is the best path dat has been decided upon..

i am juz thankful for the people in my life..

no one else come close to those close in your heart..

love u baby..
muackz..

the life at home is just so mundane..i need to get back to work..but currently..i'm unemployed..someone pls..EMPLOY ME!haha..

10 reasons y staying at home really gets on my nerve..
1-its BORING!
2-mummy will keep on pestering me to do loads of hse work..while of course she's at work..
3-LONELY..yeah..practically everyones out at work or sch
4-no more shows to watch..i think i watch the whole season of friends like countless of times
5-cant keep my mind occupied
6-will keep on thinking abt whether NTU accepts me( now tt everyone else has gotten thier letters except me.. )
7-makes me EAT n EAT
8-its DULL
9-home is too small for me to run around
10- MORE IMPORTANTLY..makes me miss dearie more n more..coz staying at home will make me think of him..n want him to be der beside me..but i cant..SOBS

so somebody pls..employ me..or take me out at least??save me from the boredom i'm going thru!haha..n yeah..the craziness tt has gotten into me too..
but.............................
there are always the ppl who will always be der to share me pain..n help me chuck it aside..
so yesterday,was a girls' night out for Wan Wei, Pei Ru n ME!! were suppose to be more though..but i shall nt ruin the evening ya..
Anyways, we had a delightful evening spent having dinner at Long John Silver at Century Square..coz eventually the TM one was packed with ppl..n pei ru..with 3 of us..a table for two is obviously not enuff..haha..so we gobbled up..(okie..we're girls..we are more demure n well-mannered)so we savoured every bit of the chicken n cajun fries..coz we were DAMN hungry!!haha..so well we spent abt an hr sitting der n eating as slowly as we cld..before we decided to make our way..to StarBUCKs..
but.............................
unfortunately, it was too cold n us drinking a mocca frapachino will definitely not help warm our bodies..haha..so we went to coffee bean instead n luckily..der were cushion seats!PEI RU..ur luck was good..haha..yeah so we cuddled ourself on the comfy couches n enjoyed a pure choc n vanilla drink at the same time..so what else did we do..(obviously when girls meet..der's nothing else tt we do..but yak n yak the night away..)
so................................
the topic of the night was guys..hahaha..Pei ru n i agreed that u cant always have the whole package of a perfect guy..come on GALS..u gotta admit it..he's either rich,not handsome but sweet..or the cute,not rich but really nice..or if u want both the cute n the rich..den u shall not get the great heart..yeah..so we talked n talked more trying to convince one another tt we both are right..n indeed..WE R RIGHT!haha..
den.............................
aft we enuff of talking n stoning..we took a hike round CS..n well, since neither of us were rich enuff to own a digi cam..haha..so we let the neoprint machine do its thing..haha..n Pei Ru tried to dodge her way out of the picture taking idea by saying tt her hair was not alright..n so i convinced her tt her hair was neat enuff..but haha..she had to say it "ju..its either neat, or pei ru.."hahaa...got dat??no??its oki..figure it out..but i think wan wei u get it..
so................................
tt was how the evening n night was spent yest..wish i can have more of tt..so tt i wont be so bored..well..shall wait for dearie to book out..den its his turn to entertain me..

its me again... cuz some one is soundly sleeping while i am feeling so restless but gotta be at pasir ris interchange at 1915... lucky for me.. i stay 2 bus stop away...

i am tired... i wan to AWOL!(Absent Without Official Leave) but i will end up in Detention Barrack and my whole life will be in ruins... haha...

let me update den on how the weekend was spent... it was gd... cuz get to see my lil baby.. miss her loads.. met her few hours after booking out.. and we spend time together before goin to changi general hospital to visit my grandfather cause he got stroke recently.. it was a mix feeling experience for me.. cuz its sad to see my grandfather in dat condition yet happy to see my dearie fitting in really well wif not onli my family.. but wif my other relatives as well.. and the comments i receive really brighten up my day...

next up we went to arab street for my dearie's couz's bday at Samar.. oh.. i forgot to mention Happy bday kak nur.. i noe u are reading this cuz ju told me.. haha.. yes.. finally get to meet me.. and also abg azfar.. hope i did get both of ur name rite.. haha.. it was nice i muz say..

dat was yest.. and today.. my biological clock decide to ring at 0730.. making me feeling lethargic.. but wad to do.. i dun have much time left.. went to buy my rations and stuff in the morning and indulge in Mac breakfast.. pack all the stuff.. went to visit my grandfather again.. sad for me to be so far away when someone close is in hosp.. nothing much i can do bout it.. next was a trip to white sand to buy myself a new pair of specs again! cuz of NS... grrrrrr.. i am broke as it is loh... i got everything ready.. except for toilet paper.. hope someone bring extra.. if not.. shit.. i will die.. haha...

okie enuff la.. like very boring like dat.. so.. the next part is dedicated to someone special..

Dear.. muackz.. will miss u alot.. hope get to hear ur voice every nite.. dun be sad when i am not around.. cuz u noe u will always be in my heart.. and i noe i am in ur heart too dear.. muackz.. love u...

hello peeps... guess who?

okie.. i juz book out from singapore's 2nd prison a.k.a bmtc... to those who are blur still... its at tekong.. go figure..
2 weeks down and 7 more to go... loads of peeps are falling sick.. i am enduring as much as i can.. had shooting training in a simulated room... and gonna shoot the real thing on wed.. lets hope and pray i dun cock up cuz i might end up doing guard duty or kena charge...
yest and today was a killer esp to our lower limbs ( excluding ....) why? cuz we had to run for 20 mins non stop at 0730 followed by being baked under the hot sun learning to throw a grenade.. followed by standard obstacle course training... by the time every thing end... our no 4 was soaking wet like we have been under water for the whole day plus it stinks! we slept at 2200 which is 30 mins earlier as usual cuz we hade to wake up at 0500 today.. u noe for wad? so dat we can walk 6 km! wif our rifle!! and full battle order!!.. all this to train for our 24km route march.. die.. cuz i am already dying now.. losing my voice due to shouting alot.. grrrrrrr....

oh man.. enuff of ns lah okie? i type also i sian already.. i will do wad my platoon commander Lta Patrick like to say "touch your heart... tell me wads on your mind!" seriously.. NS does not only teaches a boy to be soldier.. but to mould him to be a better man too.. teamwork is essential.. so is the will and physical strength.. i muz say my platoon mates are a great bunch of cocks.. haha.. cuz we all do stupid stuff.. but... sad to say.. confinement period gonna end already.. so starting tomolo.. if we do something wrong... we are gonna get a whole lot of soldierly love from our dear commanders...

coming to my next point... being confined allow me to learn to appreciate wad we have here in spore dat we dun in tekong... for example... those who we keep close to our hearts no matter where they may be.. a man will never realised wad he have until he loses it... so peeps be thankful for wad u have..

hahhaa... kaoz.. i am writing an essay ah... sorry ah.. army never give me chance to write stuff... so i use this space to write ah.. bored and tired man... waiting for dearie to reach here soon.... den we are off to.. i duno where actually.. but some where lah.. most important to visit my grandparents..

Dear.. dun worry.. i didnt forget u k?
muackz... love u dear..

Was watching A Walk To Remember a few mins ago n i must say..These two sayings from the movie really really moved my heart..dearie, u remember the movie??haha..i think it was back in sec sch rite?yeah yeah..those were the days..

"...Love is always patient n kind, its never jealous,
it is never boastful, it is never rude or selfish.."

"..Love is like the wind, one can't see it but one can feel it..."

People often question, "What's love?"
Some will ponder,"Do you really know what true love is?"
Others may just say, "Love is complicated..."

Different people, different opinion i must say..But one thing is for sure..Love does exist.n it is really the most beautiful gift of God, when ppl actually cherish it n appreciate it..love is always patient n kind..it definitely takes a lot of patience n perseverence to get a relationship going..the path may not always be a smooth one..but like they always say, quarrels are sometimes signs to a healthy relationship..well, who am i to really say what love is..different ppl define n feel it differently..but definitely,u wont know how it feels till u really experience love...

N dearie..
I luv you loads..

its been 2 days since my job ended..sobs..now i'm JOBLESS!!haha..but hmm..i decide to take a break before i start job hunting again..mummy wants me to spend some time at home with hte family..n keep granny company at home..coz when everyone's either in school or at work she's home alone..

and being a good cucu(grand-daughter)..i followed granny to the market this morning..hehe..well its thursday n its market day as usual for the two of us..decided to go to the market a little earlier today coz i had to meet Wan Wei in the afternoon..anyways, as always, mummy will have a whole list of things tt need to be bought at the market..n almost everytime, der is definitely sth that doesn't complete the list..as for today it was the fish..among all 4 fishmonger that were der..NONE sold ikan selar kunning!!haha..we like toured the market twice just to be disappointed..but granny knew how to make it up..she decided to buy pomfret instead..the auntie was like shouting "...1 plate $5.."haha..n granny being granny she will always buy more than one plate..den i'll be like.."why buy so much??nanti sape nak makan??"..n she will always have sth sensible to shoot back n the slow me.."yalah..at home we got 7 mouth to feed..3 fish where got enuff.."haha...yeah..tt's me..blur like sotong..

oh oh..den there was the vege uncle..always making so much crappy jokes..after like buying all the veges..my nenek(grandma) asked how much n here was what the lame uncle had to say..
nenek: ni berapa semua?
uncle:4000
me: huh?? uncle u sure or not??
nenek: berape dier kate?
uncle: $4 lah
me: ohhh..dier kate $4..
(den granny hands out a $10 note)
uncle: u give me 10,000 i give u back 6000..next time u come again i give u back million million..
n that was the lame uncle of da day..hahah

den papa was in a good mood today..he decided to send me all the way to BISHAN to my cc..to get my time sheet signed..n WTF!! both managers aren't in!!so just left the timesheet on her table..n decided to just send in my two weeks worth of work..coz if not i wont have any top up into my bank account..haha..den papa send me all the way to TAmpines..where i met WAN WEI!!haha..long time no see..esp since the whole class gathering thingy was cancelled..argh!so she led me to the Kelly Services branch at TAMPINES..n we asked the lady to help us look for a new temp job too..den had lunch at my most fav dinning place..PIZZA HUT!!manage to savour a plate of baked pasta after a really long time..haha..den we went SHOPPING!!..oki maybe not we..its just me..haha..cant stand the sight of clothes..my hands will just itch n itch n wanna grab at all of them..haha..and den went walking ard some more to pass the time..before i had to make my way back home to fetch my lil bro..ALWAYS!!

went for the ANUGERAH CONCERt with my sister at THE MAX PAVILION..
left home like so early coz wanted good seats..
but when we reached there we realised we were beaten by other semangat fans who came in like at 2.00pm!!
GOSH!!! the concert only starts at 8.00pm!!
anyway,opening song by khairul was so angellic..hati cair babe..
haha..oh den they sang N*sync's "No strings Attached"..it was sooo groovy..felt like shaking my booties..
there were also guest performances by Norfasarie n Andrisha..
then they duet with the guys!! MAN i'm so JEALOUS..
esp when SYED AZMIR led NorFasarie in with his hand held out to her..
GOSH!!
overall,i must say, i love those guys!!n their voices are just so melodious n pleasant to the ears..
but, the music was very loud..i almost tot my ears were going to burst..
however, the songs delivered by every single one of them were nice n suits their vocals..
i must say ANAK MELAYU SINGAPURA semakin maju dlm arena seni dan bakat...
nothing much to say for now..just got back..very tired..need to snooze...

its GOOD FRIDAY today..but not a good one for me..haha..coz today dearie's going back to camp!!!haha..oh n the class gathering for the day was cancelled too..sry guys but really cldn't make it..mayb next time ya..but rest assured u all aren't forgotten!!

anyway..it was raining so heavily today..n dearie made me wait again!!but being me..i managed to keep myself occupied by doing some SHOPPING!haha..went to buy all my toiletries..running out of them already..n went looking for some clothes..hmm..running out of clothes to wear too!!haha..pathetic me..oh oh.. at the same time i'm running out of money too..waiting for the next pay to arrive..n did i mention??my work is going to be extended AGAIN!!!argh,...!#@#!#@$ CPF board!haha..gosh..hate to work one more day..the tot of having to drag myself all the way to the other part of Singapore is just so IRRITATING!hmm..oh wells..what to do..its either tt or jobless..haha..cant possibly have the best of both worlds..

So met dearie at white sands den we went shopping again..but this time for his stuff..gosh..NS demands fo so many things..haha..den had our lunch/dinner at Simei banquet!! haha..well its just a matter of mins before he has depart again..haha..tkcr..miss ya alot!

Testing....
okie.. looks like i can still type after being botak and physically drained...
Booking in at 1915 later..

Dear.. wad ever happen yest... i am really sorry.. didnt mean to do that k? muackz.. love u alot..

Anyway.. tekong is not to bad for now.. juz dat it will take your energy level to a low level as it is physically demanding.. guess wad.. after 4 days of training and sleepless nights for me.. we had IPPT.. which is physical fitness test.. after only 4 DAYS! the last time i ran was like... last millenium... goodness.. thanks god i cleared everything.. if not extra physical training for me... YEAH! now.. my muscles are aching.. who would be kind enuff to kiss away the pain??? hehe....

i guess i am coping wif the demands of COUGAR COMPANY OF BMTC 1.. i am in PLATOON 2 SECTION 3 BED 28... guess dats my details.. Platoon mates are alrite.. juz dat there those people who are blur blur.. and we are all from JC.. wonder how they manage to go JC in the first place.. but its okie.. and i guess my previous experience as a NCC cadet helps.. some of the stuff i already noe.. and was even asked to help wif the rest.. nonetheless.. they are the ones who will go tru this 2 months together.. so.. might as well work together before all of us kena...

another things is dat.. they are asking those from uniformed group to join the drill comp so that if we win we can perform during pop.. i guess.. i am goin to try for it.. juz do wad i can and bring honour to COUGAR company.. and dear.. as i told u.. some sacrifices have to be made.. sorry sayang..

Army is strict.. like duh... they can charge u for anyting.. seriusly anything! even talking bad can be charged.. by charge my mean.. send u to DB(Detention Barrack) which is far worse den prison.. wad's worse.. once u have a record in DB.. ur whole life is gone.. u cant hold govt job or enter the uni here.. so.. i guess i gotta take care of myself..

Enuff of the army.. now.. lets get back to the love of my life... Dearie.. u gotta hang in there k? We have been together for 5 years and a month and still counting.. i hope this love last baby.. we got to try to make it last.. there is no one else dat i wan.. and i am saying everything from the heart.. this is a trying time for both of us dear.. its up to fate.. but.. if i had a choice.. i will be with only u..

time check.. 1041.. 8 hours and 34 mins to book in..

Muackz... love u baby ju..

Today's dearie is back..hmm..and he's LATE!!always late..i tot i'm the only late one..but he is too!!anyway, he's BOTAK!! haha..n got more build..just like my couzies who have completed their 3 mth in BMT!talking abt couz..must say a huge CONGRATS to my dear beloved couz, AZFAR, who have managed to make it into the next round of the ARMY ICON on POWER 98...who cares abt what ppl say..you r the best to me!haha..presenting to you..the one n only AZFAR!!

Its back to work aft a whole 3 days of rest..been some time since i had such a long weekend as my off days. it has always been the inevitable case of work, work n work..AND its ending soon. FINALLY. if not its always being extended. something which i least want. anyway, today was a nother mundane moment at work.. Somewhere at the heart of BIshan is the community centre called BISHAN NORTH CC..well..tt's where i work..but no no no..i'm not workin inside..i'm working outside..tt's why they call it a void-deck CC..

Hmm..but its not so bad especially when you have friendly people of BIshaN who nv fails to drop a hi and also to keep you smiling everytime they walk pass.. N also..pets who r just so adorable.. n very very friendly too.. but too bad they cant talk..only wag their tail n purr..

and of course not forgetting friends who care..haha..my partners in crime..without them work will be even more mundane and dull... Sharleen..........................................Thomas...................

Today is the second day tt dearie's in TEKONG..hmm..miss him loads already..i guess tt will be the few words tt i shall keep saying these few days on my blog..haha..wonder what he's doing now..At the same time, i was chatting with my couz who's in TEKONG as well..same BMT sch as dearie, BMT sch 1..but different company..he says he's aite der..so i guess dearie will be too..hehe..anyways,i'll be seeing both of them during their POP..hopefully get to be there..miss both of them..

Anyway, my trip to TEKONG yesterday was a fun one..haha..like going for a school trip once again..you know those days of excursions..I was late as usual..n poor guy, he had to wait for me..but luckily, managed to reach TEKONG rite on time..the moment we stepped onto the island..we had to part already..PARENTS to ur left..N ENLISTEES to ur right..haha..met some oth sch guys of mine who were also going in on tt same day..we den went for a tour ard the area, of course only the permitted ones..mainly went to look ard their bunks n their training areas..i must say..the place has been cleaned up very nicely..it doesn't look tt run dwn as i expected it to be..but of course..there's always the lack of sth..tt is AIR CON!! haha..n nice comfy pillows n beds..tt's what u call survival...aft that, we were directed to the auditorium, where we witness the guys taking their oath..haha..it was such an auspicious moment..looking at the guys taking in every word of the oath..so proud of my dearie n all the other guys der..den of course, aft all the tired walking we were presented with a hearty meal with the guys..I mean u get to have a final lunch together with ur sons before it was goodbye...haha...yum yum!!

THEN..it was time to say GOODBYE..argh!!hate goodbyes..who ever invented that word..haha..but well,in life there is always a moment of togetherness n a moment of separation..n so it was goodbye to dearie..BUT.........he will be booking out this THURSDAY!!haha..not even a week in n he gets to book out..well of course thanks to the holiday..if not..god noes when's the nxt time he books out..

Oh well..getting use to nights of loneliness will be difficult..but i believe nothing is impossible..I miss you dear..come back home soon K?although i dunno how soon is soon..but hehe..i shall wait for my MAN to return..MUACKZ!!

JEJAKA-JEJAKA TERUNGGUL
STONE...eRR...yang belakang ke yg tiga tu?

HMM...ni gambar..hanya diterbitkan setelah lelaki macho bershopping di bugis..kalah perempuan..

WEll..dat's my dearie n his friends spending some guy moments together before he leaves for NS..haha..tt's like the word of the WEEK!!haha..its like a few more hrs before he admits himself to the island of TEKONG..but before tt..he managed to have some fun with his pals..haha..WHAT ABT ME??=)

SObs..sobs..today is my darlings last day in SINGAPORE..haha..not like as if he's goin anywhere far..but tml he'll be migrating over to TEKONG!!haha..he's been such a sweetie..sending me to work n fetching me home almost everyday of the week..hmm..the next few days i must be an independent girl..looking after my own self..n hmm..making sure i am still in one piece everyday..haha..anyways..u know u'll always be in my heart rite??i dun wanna think of the negative things..like i say..its already ur duty n responsibility as a man to go n serve ur country..n i will always pray for ur safety der..so i wont be too emotional abt things..but all i can say is tt..u will be dearly missed..hehe...

You shall be MISSED DEARLY...

okie.. i wont say much..

I am going in tomolo..

Take care.. dun worry bout me..

MISS U DEARIE!

Love u always...
-EJ-130301-

i am sitting in front of the comp rather satisfied... YUMMY!! eating the spaghetti dat my dearie made for me................ WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.... "the way to a man's heart is tru his stomach"
for now.. its so true..... haha.. anyway darling... ur spaghetti is nice.. cook more often for me k? Muackz.. dats a bribe...

anyway.. i already packed my stuff half way tru.. maybe later go get some stuff before fetching dearie.. sad ah to leave... but.. wad to do.. a boy got to do wad it takes to be a man... riteeeeeee....

but at least.. i am leaving a happy man.. My dearie is my joy in life.. MUACKZ... Hopefully she wont be taken away from me... but.. its all up to fate.. can true love last?

to be continued.............

okie.. i continue enjoying my spaghetti.. MUACKZ..
Love u baby dear..
Miss u aite?

Hey dearie... Thanks for the swit entry dedicated to me..
I am so tired...........................................................

anyway.. i woke up today expecting to be fed.. cuz my dearie said she goin to cook spaghetti for me.... CANT WAIT!!!

2 days to confinement.... so i better make wad's left of my civilian life... spending each moment dat i can wif my dearie.... I am goin to miss her so much..

Dear.. plz take care of urself k? muackz.. i try to be around when u need me.. sms me when i am inside k?

*CUDDLES*

PS : Dear God... plz dun take her away from me..

WORK..WORK..WORK..n more WORK..yeah, time is being so occupied with tt..7.5hrs a day, 5 days in a week..n guess wat..the job has been extended to the 17th of April..it was suppose to end on April fools day..but hey..its april fool..so it chg to the 15th n now 17th!!what next??the end of the mth..argh!cant take it anymore..but den again..shall always tell this to myself.."U want MONEY??"den better go work.. haha

anyway, my dearie's goin off for NATIONAL SERVICE this coming sat..gosh,how time flies..i remembered we were like discussing abt this a few mths back..n now,i'll have to send him off to the island of Tekong in 3 days time..SOBS..but haha..on the bright side of things,he's booking out on the following coz its GOOD FRIDAY!!wow..i really love the holidays man..no work..no having to attend to irritating customers..n time to rest.. n get to meet him too..haha..anyway..u shall be missed k?tt's definite..*cuddles*

Firstly.. i dunno who reads this blog.. but.. i will still say wad i wan to say anyway aite?

okie.. let me start by saying i love u alot baby..
God's greatest gift to me is you... and i thank God for it..
Dun leave me k dear? i make sure i take care of ur heart properly..

I am enlisting in Ns soon.. real soon in fact.. and i wan to thank u so much for making the effort to send me me off dat day.. i also appreciate u wanting and coming to watch my first perfomance at Pentas despite u not wanting me to be a B-boy due to certain reasons.. haha.. but.. i am glad dat u accept me for who i am.. and i love u for that..

and dear.. stay the way u are.. i love it dat way.. physically and emotionally.. while i try my best to love u whole heartedly...

I hope its not too mushy.. haha...
oh.. a little note bout Pentas... PMC smokes Pentas.. thanks to pentas i got groin injury.. nyehaha..

opps...

kk.. dats all..

LOVE U DARLING!
MUACKZ!